Posts tagged ‘Guo Lao’

April 13, 2015

Twerk dat Taxhole

by doomdigit


“In our movement to cut off the tail of Capitalism we have achieved great victories,” he announced, “but there are sill many problems.  The situation is especially grave in the Number Nine Production Team.”  He paused, and looked around for emphasis.  Then he bellowed, “Guo Lao-da’s ducks are an example of rotten Capitalism!”  He paused again.  “Guo Lao-da, stand up and ask Chairman Mao for forgiveness!”

Guo Lao-da had been sitting in the front row.  Now he got slowly to his feet.  He looked big and gawky up there in front of everyone, but his rage gave him a strange kind of grace.  “What makes you think your cock is any bigger than anyone else’s?”  he shouted in his thick regional dialect.  “If I’m going to kowtow, I’ll kowtow.  But it’s to Chairman Mao, not to you!”  And in a flash, before I ad time to decipher his words, he was down on all fours in front of the posters, knocking his head on the earthen floor with three loud thumps that could be heard all over the room.

We all had to laugh.  He had stood up to the brigade leader so bravely, but he looked so foolish down there on the ground.  Old Li was furious.  “Guo Lao-da!  Don’t think it’s over just because you kowtowed!  If you don’t kill those ducks tonight, we’ll bring your case to the entire commune!”

I never dreamed that this uneducated peasant could render a Party Secretary speechless, but he did.  “Do you know whose ducks these are?” he demanded, shaking his finger.  “These ducks are …

read more »

%d bloggers like this: