Twerk dat Taxhole

by doomdigit


“In our movement to cut off the tail of Capitalism we have achieved great victories,” he announced, “but there are sill many problems.  The situation is especially grave in the Number Nine Production Team.”  He paused, and looked around for emphasis.  Then he bellowed, “Guo Lao-da’s ducks are an example of rotten Capitalism!”  He paused again.  “Guo Lao-da, stand up and ask Chairman Mao for forgiveness!”

Guo Lao-da had been sitting in the front row.  Now he got slowly to his feet.  He looked big and gawky up there in front of everyone, but his rage gave him a strange kind of grace.  “What makes you think your cock is any bigger than anyone else’s?”  he shouted in his thick regional dialect.  “If I’m going to kowtow, I’ll kowtow.  But it’s to Chairman Mao, not to you!”  And in a flash, before I ad time to decipher his words, he was down on all fours in front of the posters, knocking his head on the earthen floor with three loud thumps that could be heard all over the room.

We all had to laugh.  He had stood up to the brigade leader so bravely, but he looked so foolish down there on the ground.  Old Li was furious.  “Guo Lao-da!  Don’t think it’s over just because you kowtowed!  If you don’t kill those ducks tonight, we’ll bring your case to the entire commune!”

I never dreamed that this uneducated peasant could render a Party Secretary speechless, but he did.  “Do you know whose ducks these are?” he demanded, shaking his finger.  “These ducks are ……. Chairman Mao’s ducks.  One is for Old Liant, to repay a debt to him.  But I’m sending the other five to Peking for Chairman Mao to eat.  And whoever is crazy enough to try to kill my ducks, well, he’s the one opposing Chairman Mao!”

We roared again with laughter.  This was better than a comic performance.  The brigaade leader was absolutely helpless.  Finally he said “If we can’t settle this matter tonight, we’ll settle it soon enough!”  But as the peasants filed out of the meeting room I heard him mutter to Father, “Old Liang, this business.  I’ll put you in charge of it.”  It was his admission of defeat.

Father and Auntie Zhu were about to go to bed when Guo Lao-da came to our house, a changed man.  The bravado was all gone.  “Old Liang,” he said, his voice deeply troubled.  “What shall I do?  My ducks have supported me my whole life.  Do they want us to starve to death to fight Capitalism?”

“Hush,” whispered Father.  “They could blow out your brains for saying less.”  Then he spoke softly with him until the fire burned down very low.  I was already asleep in the kitchen when Guo Lao-da went out to kill his ducks.

Lian Heng and Judith Shapiro, Son of the Revolution (New York: Vintage Books 1984), 184-185.

It seems strange to have to make this argument, but apparently it must be made: paying taxes does not make you the boss, it makes you the taxhole.  You can strip everything down to who pays and who receives payment, but there is still a giant war elephant in the room: force.  Today’s taxholes either do not have or refuse to use the force that would make them bosses.  You can complain about parasites all day long and even have a pretty little pity powwow about wily wasichu ways, but that changes nothing unless it actually persuades a significant number of people to become bosses.  Yes, the ability to terminate employment has been forcibly removed from we the taxholes, just as many things were removed from the Injuns.  More than likely forcible means will have to be used to restore power, rather than endless discussions and petitions.  In a time when politicians can do whatever the Hell they want but are supposedly not really the bosses, it seems absurd to burble burp about how we, the taxholes, are really the bosses when absolutely nothing is done to stop politically motivated audits.

20 Comments to “Twerk dat Taxhole”

  1. Welcome back, Doomie. How is the flock?

    I don’t know who thinks they are da boss when they pay the taxes. Talk about lying to yourself. You don’t talk to a bully. It won’t work. He doesn’t give a rip about your opinions.

    • “How is the flock?”

      They aren’t paying enough taxes (eggs) so I’m executing them. But they’re the boss of me.

      • You are the only real farmer with practical experience.

        It is beneficial to share your struggles with idealists like Moody Maureen & mw who “believe” they could survive on subsistence farming.
        In the imagination, it’s FUNN2Play Future Bartertown with Mad Max dressed in his “These Colors DON’T Run!!!” t-shirt, but when you see it’s Tina Turner staffing the DHS…besides

        BiGGov Cash supplying lobbyists from Tyson Chicken, ConAgra and Red China’s Smithfield Foods will undercut prices of Yon Gentlemen Farmers; just like Wal-Mart does mom & pop.

        If it’s barely workable for you in times of peace, imagine what happens when The Empire Strikes Back – with MRAPs.

        I’m sure we’ll hear from our street~weapon patriots after Christmas™ gives them an excuse
        then they (and other warriors) resolve The Greatest Issue of Our Age:
        Duck Dynasty

        On Twitter

  2. FWIW I support the farmers and I have a notion to join them. If anything it adds strategic depth to our future society. And FTR I missed the flock, not as exciting as who is going to lead the Neo Werewolf SS brigade into action and shit like that, but farming interests me since I am a clodhopper jordy by birth, a simple man a gentile jethro of the land and all that happy shit.

    • have fun!
      most who admire that idea
      have never done it
      they just imagine
      they would “like” to try it

      I’d ask how it worked out for
      The Great Experiment …
      Mr. Stalin’s farmers
      but nobody’s found
      their bodies

      • Rumor has it they were sitting on the trains next to the Mensheviks and intellectuals. I know you noticed my words strategic depth, and I will leave it at that.

    • I’m sure you know the differing methodologies between imagining and actually doing.

      Others not so thoughtful corrupt a revolution by their sheer numbers.
      Numbers that overwhelmingly dilute action by their insistence that TDO/JAN and Tweeting are progress.

      It is imaginary progress. A fool’s progress.

  3. Most farmers around the world are actually starving, so hopefully no one thinks that farming alone will work. Trying to survive a Dark Age will be even worse than most can imagine. You can get a glimpse just by looking at survival cultures such as the Eskimos. Nine meals from anarchy doesn’t come close to describing the horror–it’s one step from sudden death and the helpful critters you have could be your downfall. You could be a viking running away from your enemies and your damn dog barks, giving away your position, (this happened, see the Orkneyinga Saga), or your damn sled dogs eat all your food because someone left the door open…

    Using gardens and critters to save money is smart if you’re poor, but don’t expect to thrive in a dark age. There are so many things you have to get right, and at the end of the day you still need some kind of city job to make it.

    I may have to hit the “reset” button, but I had a lot of good experiences and learned a lot. The best was desensitization. I thought I’d have a hard time killing ducks because they’re my favorite, but I feel nothing.

  4. I too admire you for being a real farmer, Doomie. It is a credit to you that you have actually tried it.

    • DD provides an invaluable wake-up service to the idealist mw’s and maureen’s of the world because of his inherent pragmatism that is based on actual experience culled from real actions and subsequent results.

      The statement about learning to be still more pragmatic via slaughtering duck-favorites is no bullshit.

  5. 2013. I’m surprised how our old articles are still relevant. This was a good one, Doomie. Are you still raising duck, or are you forced to do something else now?

    • I’ve seen with my own eyes how it ends.

      “The Peeple” of my own area vote themselves tax increases. Tax increases to “fix the roads” that their incompetent government let rot and still hasn’t repaired in three or so years since they got Dat EXTRA Taxhole Munny; fools.

      The Sleeeple of my own area also vote themselves tax increases to gibs munny to colored shithole skoolz to “sabe dat ejucayshun fo da chilrens” and sheet. They really do.

      Even traditionally cranky Olde Sleeeeple get their taxes confiscated by Dagon to waste some more and they don’t do jack shit.

      UncleBEAST KNOWS what dimwits he has on the leash and he will milk them and slaughter the fools until all that remains are Colored Cockroaches stripping the aqueducts and Coliseums.

      • I know the ins and outs of taxes. Yes, Murkans are obedient when it comes to government siphoning. They’ll pay and slave their lives away for Uncle Sham who wants every dollar they can get from you, with more and more byzantine and draconian tax laws that no one can fully understand, not even your Jew lawyer during his good days.

        Not only that, the system is set to hollow out the middle class, so the migger parasites can live, even disrupting the life cycle of other feeders like the Wall St vampires and the various groups of liberal blood suckers. It can’t be good in the long run!

      • A junkie can lie to himself…until he crashes.

        Until one hits rock bottom, no forward progress is possible. This is the state of America today, and it is why “worse is better.” MORE freedom, more sex, more TV. We haven’t seen bottom yet.

        I think WN might be more effective helping our enemies. There’s pushing people into WN, and there’s pulling. Pushing doesn’t work. We have to “pull” them in, from the system, and into us.

      • No, WN should have more vested interest in getting outsiders (meaning Whites from outside of Murka) to be their comrades. Most of your fellow Murkans can’t even open up a conservation with what goes on with society, other than money junkie topics.

        That’s because Ryu, you have a limited scope of the world, and perhaps because of the Murka is the greatest nation on earth delusional think, and for me, NYC is also the greatest city in the world think.

      • js
        …because of the Murka is the greatest nation on earth delusional think…

        Ryu is spared a bit of any perceived Greatest Nation America Nostalgia while he grows.

        You see, America was the greatest nation the world had ever seen.
        You only see Murka in its worst element: Perverted, decadent NYC/Manhattan mode, circa 2013-present. This is the point it has arrived at.

        You have not seen what simple glory America was in our youth. What the “small town” America was like. People were decent. They were grateful for liberty, privacy and plenty. They were paid well for their work and were free to live from tyrant’s violence and true oppression.

        They were not the Kardashianites of today. They were worth fighting for.

      • I don’t think Murka is the greatest, JS.

      • Perverted Manhattan/NYC was circa a long time ago. It was already degenerate before the 9-11 towers fell, the post trauma just made it more sick. This being said, irony is a bitch. America comes with a heavy price tag as damaged goods. Slick used car salesmen are at their best now!

    • I’m still raising random critters.

  6. Hillary isn’t so much in favor of these abuses as she is utterly indifferent.

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