50 Shades of Gray: Reviews of Movies I’ll Never See

by Firepower

Being Don Johnson & Melanie Griffith’s Daughter IS HARD! Or, at least it makes ME so…

50 Sades of Grey?

Let me guess – here’s how it plays out: Perfect 10 co-ed-cutie in college “for journalism” can only get “work” in a hardware store tries valiantly to preserve her cherry from randy billionaire chasing her, thus proving wimminz iz liberated an stuff! and that Feminist Logic (and stuff) trumps a big wallet.

Yep. A 10 who….works at a hardware store. No incredulity in that, nope – no sirree.  This proves to all the feminazi cunts who protested the VH-1 Mystery Pick-Up Artist series that Game does not work if you’re a hunky Manhattan (I’m guessing) billionaire.  Wonder what the little lady saw in Mega-Dude.

You’ve come a long way, baby.

6 Comments to “50 Shades of Gray: Reviews of Movies I’ll Never See”

  1. She’s only the third best Dakota. Typical mainstream wish fulfillment fantasy disguised as pseudo transgressions filmed in the soft core stylings pioneered in 9-1/2 Weeks and Top Gun that are very popular with the mass populace.

    • I don’t know what a “dakota” is; I’m guessing it’s the bitch’s name.

      I presume you’ve noticed all Murkan Mooovee Fare is now wish fulfillment fantasy.
      This erotic angle is for the Grrl Audience in an increasingly feminized Murka.
      Etruscan-ization of whites: http://wp.me/p2kmGE-1Zq

      Harry Potter was written by a girl.
      Twilight – again, a girl.

      Even Murkan Sniper “fits” into ChickLogic by getting the Sainted BigTuff Main Character to squirt a few for the cam. 😥

  2. I’m halfway tempted to see it, just to watch the audience reaction to it. It’s not what people say they want, but what they really want. Romance novels are goldmines of what women truly want.

  3. Of the Dakotas, Richards has an epic prow whereas I would dress Fanning up as a liberal college girl and give her a good lecture.
    Meanwhile, in the new movie Jupiter Ascending, Mila Kunis plays a cleaning woman but it turns out she is really the queen of Earth.

    • In the true British Tradition, Dakota Fanning must be dressed in tight-fitting Liederhosen, high heels and a riding crop, used to discipline a bound, nude and writhing Dakota Johnson and then, upon myself whilst I shave her downy, golden pubic hair into the shape of the Swastika.

      Or, she can merely dust my trophy shelf bi-weekly

  4. The propaganda angle of 50 shades has been revealed and the end-game is to divorce the white female from her “romantic” inclinations so far largely invisible due to the medium of novels. Now the talk is about romance = control = abuse. 50 shades is now a large enough backdrop/phenomenon to launch a liberationist propaganda campaign.

    [ed note: females abandoned their moral high-ground cudgel when they flock by the millions to do interracial bukkakke-choke porn]

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