Death of a Friend: Cameron Gallway

by Firepower

It is with heavy heart I bring sad news to Eradica readership concerning the recent, tragic passing of Cameron Gall-Way.  Not much is known of the intimate details surrounding his passing, as such details are sketchy – as was the meaning for his hyphenated surname.  All we know is his Baby, His beloved pet project, has fallen after his untimely and all-too-soon premature passing.  The question NOW is: Who will carry the torch and pass it all on to a New Generation hungering for the vast repository of knowledge embodied in this mountain of a man?  It’s the burning of the Library of Alexandria all over again, but this time, on an Australianese level.

Friends, Romans & cuntrymen, I come not to bury Cameron, but to praise him – to celebrate The Man in all his splendour.  There are many sides to “The Private Cam” that none knew because of His Dignity, humility, and the overall sagacity that he embodied to deliberately keep himself out of the limelight.  He was determined to hide his intelligence and he succeeded more than he imagined.  Cam was all about sharing.  He had a deft willingness to share his thoughts in those fleeting moments of sober, silent lucidity – but always with one constant quality:  Dignity.  Always Dignity.

A Truly Gifted Artist Passes: 1999-2012

Often, he could be found relishing shaking his protest signage at an “Umpteenth March Against Refugee Boats – And This Time We REALLY Mean It!” rally in his outback hometown of Burna-Bunga, or placidly tinkering away the years on his tremendous plastic model collection of Panther Tanks, Schnellboots und Stukas.

Cami was a collector and heavy investor in blog memorabilia guaranteed to increase in future value, often waxing wistfully over his “I Ferdi” short-shorts & tubetop collection with highly cherished Team Mangan!® (signed) autographed scrap book and satin pillows.

Cameron was also a sentimental lad, an overall sweet wisp o’ a guy who actually kept a Super-Private Diary: A tear in his eye, he often welled-up with emotion upon gently untying the ribbon, then breathlessly describing My First Time! with each of his two idols – endlessly recalling every tender detail of their intense, Tango-like danse du blogge seductionne.  Frequently. Camelot would shiver as he basked in the memory of laying rapturously entwined in ferdi’s or mangy’s embrace, as they encouraged his unique typing stylizations.

Cammeroni loved Poetry more than any male and actually penned this gem of a manly verse to his Idols on his trademarked, heavily-perfumed pink stationery:

One day, We Will All be as wise… to Realize

Nothing ’tis ‘ere Important as –

Them Words o’ a Blogga

Few knew Cam actually wore a locket enclosing a wisp of Ferdi’s precious hair – kept in a delightful and delicate silver charm – hanging on the filmy pearl necklaces ferdi gave him.  Cammz constantly wore this badge about his neck in loyal, admiring devotion.  Cami was no ingrate – he kept The Man Code sacrosanct in gratitude for all ferd did to for him:  Illuminating The One Shining Way; peddling literally tonnes of bargain-basement self-portrait B&D nudes of sofia.  Oh, and, lest we forget … Linkage Is Good For You.

Cammie’ Gallway
At Age 31

Cameron was a lifelong friend and fellow blogger who never quite understood or made it in This Mean Old e-World, often finding difficulty finding an audience truly appreciative of his eloquent, persuasive style of repeatedly drunkposting “fuckyuouse bluckk judcoksker!!!!!” thirty times at 5 am – sprinkled with those adorable Stuka videos commemorating Nazi Germany’s overwhelming victory in World War Two.   People just “didn’t get” this genius.  But, Cameroni understood people need constant reminding of VG Day: They’ve forgotten just how the Huns won it all with successful stragety, wise use of tactics, cool heads, and a calm, rational leader whose voice wasn’t prone to temperamental outbursts caused by overloading on intoxicating substances.  Camz never gave up though, pressing his unwavering pet issues on to The End, in the 87+ blogs he started, then scuttled.

Despite generous offers inside the Noble House of Eradica several times, Cam wisely chose to stay outside, bark at the Moon, put poo-poo on the porch and leave dirty, incoherent messages on the voicemail – thus embodying that famous, Wise Australian/A-Borry-Gine saying:

nevva evva speak when yah soba – when ya kin ramble-slur fo a munth whilst drunk off yer bluddy arse

He LIVED this credo to its fullest and spoke from The Heart in some of his best work:

Sometimes you strike me as a close horse faggot, but I stfu. Something thats probably incompressible for a yank homosexualist like yourself.
Please don’t go whatseyourname, I’m drunk and need attention.
What’s your fucking point?

Yu don’t have one.

American me have small penises.

Because of Australia’s generous Socialist Policy of Surviving Domestic Partner Benefits pushed-through (and in) time and time and over and over again by squishy Labour and The Liberools, there need be no more tears for the little people he left behind.  I can still see The Lovers – together – walking hand in hand, gingerly tippy-toeing in their highheels over the bloody needles in a Perth backalley or cuddling up in the back seat of the Bon Scott Memorial Mini-Cooper, giggling to the hidden meanings of “Waltzing Matilda” at the Vegemite™ Free Clinic.

Few Knew Cam Invented The
Bardamu Teething Pillow®

A true philanthropissed,  Camz last wishes are his vast Thor comic book collection, the beloved locket of Ferdhair and all four of his Rutger Hauer LaserDiscs™ be donated to The “Stingray Steve” Irwin Commemorative Cricket Pitch & Landfill – or the Royal Sydney Opera, whichever is infested with less flies at the moment.

So always rememba:  Don’t do it your way.  Don’t do it the right way.  Do it the gall way.

Cameroni is survived by his Soulmate and Life Partner Patty Hanniggann and their two small children, Ferdinand-Mangan, Jr., a pair of pitifully conjoined twins.  Your donations are greatly appreciated in helping free these two lads tragically attached at the mouth and anus.
So, Please Give!

So, In Passing, This One Goes Out To You Sweet Prince – Be Brave in Goddie’s Bosom, Lil’ Troopa!

5 Comments to “Death of a Friend: Cameron Gallway”

  1. Funny! I think The Spearhead uses a teething pillow like that. Most of the commetariat there are still weaning on it.
    [Indeed. My mistake there, is veering from the Price Content to the comments. It’s like going to a great event hosted by a work colleague and the guests are all inconsolable, drunken crybabies weeping in their beer. Spearhead commenters’ whining and bleating is so emasculating, their ex-wives custody judgement ain’t got nuthin’ on those dudes. None (even price) have the stones to post outside their Sweat Lodge. Every time I post there I need a ritual cleansing to rid me of the Stink of Fail]

  2. Firepower: I hope I never piss you off.

    Cameron: R.I.P.
    [ed note: ’tis all in good fun. cammi simply LOVED my similar eulogy to his winsome Pat H, so turnabout’s fair play. if he can’t take a joke, he can go fuck himself…or rub up against his Mangan Teether]

    • Now that I’m aware no one has actually died when you write these, I can appreciate that you have created an entirely new art form! I’m a fast learner 😉
      [I AM the one who died]

  3. firepower you are so mean…..lmsao on the bardamu teething pillow- poor widdle cammi got chase away! aww 😦
    [ed note: quit picking on him]

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