Blog Reviews: raymi the wtf (NSFW)

by Firepower

Good Genetics Are Hard – Now, So Am I

I was all prepped to like this chick; she has a prime body type I lust after and looks like two of my exes – one with red hair, even. I give credit to a girl who’s done so much to get a rockin’ bod – like gettin’ born with good genetics. But I’m fair, so I give still more credit when she shows what mom n’ dad got for her. B&W Artsy stuff, even.  No ego there.

Obviously, The Zooey Deschanel Quirky Girl SNL skit has basis in reality (GIFY).  I wonder what it does when it’s not On TV and hits 40.  Oh wait, no — I don’t.

The problem arises when confusing popularity for nice tits. And, in objective fairness, a nice ass. A really nice ass. Girls have this burdensome problem IRL, and thus, structurally carry it over to the blogosphere (I still hate that word).  All you need for success is…

…get your parents’ genetics to make nice tits; ask them to help you out in that department and make you a really nice pair.  Write about your boobs. Take lotsa pictures feeding them $47-a-plate Brioche Con Pomme de Terres. that you can’t/won’t/don’t ever cook.  Wait for gobs of attention to pour in! Lezbians Luv it Too, btw.

(Did I mention: These are still really nice tits?..)

I’ll Bet – There’s More U lil’ Minx!

Sadly, I’ve discovered blogging an incredible time-eating endeavor, so posting 1000 pictures of yourself eating, partying, joking, living-laughing-loving…organizing OWS protests etc., means you must get paid an inordinate amount of money – plus have the time. Think MySpace but with icky typing stuff.

Maybe it’s different in Canadia: They have nude dancing, so the tips must be lucrative.  Maybe Iranian Diplomats and Arab “Businessmen” donate to the cause if it’s Halal.  Besides, I’ve never actually seen raymi in porn. She doesn’t have the sense of humor for it.

(hey, do canucks even make that kind of stuff? Girls dressed-up like goalies, doin’ it doggy-style in a snowbank…at an Anti-US Rally, demanding MORE Haitian Immigration For Toronto!)?

2004: We love your Talent
SO much

Raymi brings lots of unprecedented self-absorption to High Art. Who does she think she is – Paul Gauguin, Beyonce – or Obsidian, even?  Nothing defines the 21st Century Fox so much as writing about food you can’t prepare, no matter how much your Beta Clique Circle begs ya. Writing about fashion when you don’t design or even sew your own hems – or inability to darn  your own Vintage Annie Hall™ Woolie socks works, too. It just looks cooler if you don’t make the eff. Hey, these is 21centurygrllz we talking about here. Life as Brevity Texting.

Ten Billion photos of the goods must cost a bundle to store on a server, so I bet the Sugar Daddy doesn’t like it unless that type of social proof gets admiration in Canadastan. I suppose I’m being overly harsh and the actuality is only 100 Suffering Beta Orbiters take out the trash, feed the cats, take the pictures, buy the food, laugh at the jokes, offer the shoulder – and the jobs – then get sent home packin’ without so much as a whiff.  A low-buzzing noise starting the second the artsy condo door closes. Gotcha! oohhh…

Did I say: These are really nice boobs?  meh. I’m biased. I just can’t figure out how a girl has the time to take a billion pics and post them, when I barely have the time to merely just post them. Nice tan lines, too. Got those at Oxford? I gotta get me a Sugar Momma. eoefee – ru lissnin?


Ever-diminishing photo frequency as turkey-flaps emerge and love of  Cak Au Choceaulatte increases.  Marriage to beta (African-Canadian-American(?) barrister nuurd-lurker in ten years. Picture Nicole Brown Simpson without her remarkable talent. Tattoo-removal paid for by said lawyer who then wraps her in That Mrs. Romney Look to meet the parents.  Two pups hurriedly pushed-out…before The Clock runs out …to balance out that Haitian street-urchin step-brother adoptee starting to turn rancid.

2012: we SO HATE U now!

RATING: ♥♥ out of five Bloghearts. (‘ghearts, pron GARTS – like “farts”)

My dad loves this chick. He was in the Navy and she still has bigger forearm tats than he does, plus, they both are assholes who refuse to cook. On second thought, my dad actually cooks more than raymi. She’s dorky-hot, like my mom (so dad says – yuk) but that No Cooking Policy would wear thin and Dear Old Dad would put a boot up her ass. Her being Canadian, she’d immediately wet herself, fall at his feet to bone Her First Alpha! before calling the Mounties on him. No pics, raymi. Some stuff is sacred. Now, when I get to TO on biz next month, LJBF. Unless, you have a little sister. What a brat. No way she has a bf.

Girls, follow her advice – show skin if you want blog hits; then write about how showing skin is nobig-hellakwl-passe – if you don’t mind showin’ skin cuz your hipster parents and social circle think its kwlz too – cuz yer hawt. Don’t mind talent – or lack thereof – just keep up with those crunches. And dance class. (I prefer swim class)

This is how GrrlBlgggrz!® achieve fame n’ glory n’ success n’ stuff!  What a shame. Once knew a girl with the most rockin’ phenom bod evva – big perfect tits. Each the same size and balance, even. Long legs, trim bush. Assmuffin like a volleyball: Had the face of a horse.  She actually had to get a Master’s Degree in ENG to pay her own bills. All those brains, wasted on that ass. *sigh*

neway: Write about deep, thoughtful stuff. Commit your Deep Thoughts on your opinion on how faaaabulous somebody else makes a tuna sandwich.  Don’t cook. Wear Daisy Dukes. Shake ass in front of Betas. Have orbiters photograph, write and upload all content. Take credit for yourself: Think, Nancy Pelosi, Nicki Minaj & Oprah. Give Best Prospect a grudging, perfunctory Old-Fashioned once a year to maintain Lifetime Loyalty – or wtf ever passes for that quaint concept in the land of Haitian Hockey Hobo Rioters.

Guys, look at every one of her pics and fap. Fap hard. Harder. Don’t contact her – ever. Don’t speak to her. She ain’t cookin’ ya breakfast.

So, just blast it and be gone – pretend like, it’s Real Life.

You’ve only got a few more years.

Tags: ,

33 Responses to “Blog Reviews: raymi the wtf (NSFW)”

  1. It’s called cheesecake. You should try it! Just make a post for say….Jessica Alba. Throw in a bunch of pictures, maybe some nudies, title it well, add a few sentances, and watch your hits roll in.

    • Doesn’t some kid named terd-in-hand already do that gig? still, I don’t want to attract their 3rd grade audience. Those pics would get Chris Hanson sitting at my kitchen table.

  2. Seriously though, I hope you are learning something from blogging.

    It’s just like running a newspaper or TV program. The more moderate, the more viewers. The constant need for content. That’s how Ferd at IMF stays going – others write for him in a group blog format. The same for The Spearhead, which is also a group blog. You can see how Crud thinks. He’s got an audience and can’t change, addicted to the hits. And so on. I’ve learned alot.

    My comrade Baal ran out of things to blog. He described all of his new ideas. Then he quit writing new posts, focusing on things that would profit the authors, like studying science. I think all bloggers reach that point, but are afraid to start posting what they want to post.

  3. I remember Raymi… she was fairly close blogging friends with one of my all-time favorite musicians – the Canadian award-winning singer-songwriter Matthew Good. Haven’t visited her blog in years, though. Maybe I should visit again.

  4. You should be writing for cosmo and making loot with this kind of quality.
    Maybe then you could get the 2 chicks in the picks to do 2 girls one cup for a hot story you are working on.
    [ed note: lulz – they’re ALL pics of THE SAME chick – she changes hairstyles like diff Le Trenday Bistros change their selection of $13 salads]

  5. Firepower,
    I’m a fan of Raymi’s blog. Your review is one lazy-assed exercise of a “review”. Seems like all you did was cruise her blog looking for skin. If you actually followed her for awhile you’d see that she’s alot more than a very hot woman. She really can cook too! Often her posts are hilarious. She is one funny lady. Try to get passed her tits and looks for a minute. That’s just bonus material. I’m certain you won’t be dissapointed!

    [ed note: seen ramymibloggie looong time ago. she all eattie – no cookum. not fun when hit 40. however, best wishes for your ninth fan-year bringing forth a peck on the cheek and fri4ndly handshake. and you’re right: she is such a fabulous humoristette and great wit – i’m sure this article will prove her magnanimity.]

  6. Woa Raymi:you can get it lol!

  7. peck on the cheek and friendly handshake lol

  8. firepower whats up i was watching how things are made and they took 75 minutes to make a 4k jakuzzi
    you ready to do this
    heated a sheet and took a minute to make the mold wtf
    i knew needed to get into manufacturing

    [ed note: i’ll go in with you. making millions gets you laid by 10’s]

    • well it doesn’t get everyone laid by tens but for me yea i would have a housing division like the godfather but with more imagination and a nice crop of 10’s in there

    • so ahh yea you provide the machine and delivery with the acrylic plate. I’ll provide the manufacturing facility and the workers and store

  9. This from the man(?) who’s constantly requesting that I post nudie pics, picking on some other poor girl who does so,

    As Granny Daedalus used to say, you give a fella what he asks for and he won’t appreciate it…

    Sadly, I’ve discovered blogging an incredible time-eating endeavor,

    If that’s supposed to be an apology for disappearing from my blog…
    [ed note: nope i LOVE tits. it’s the Quirky Girl Schtick coupled with the “OMG can you BEELEEVE that Arrruggulla Croissant at Chez Snerd!” that ticks me. that, coupled with the noodz for attention. Don’t feel bad for raymi: she has more hits than you, me and roisshy combined, no matter what he feels. oh, and i haven’t posted at your for a while cuz i’ve posted like 20000 times and you’ve only done five. :P]

    • I LOVE tits

      and so you should. 🙂

      I might do a post on the changing shape of noodz in art one of these days.

      haven’t posted at your for a while cuz i’ve posted like 20000 times and you’ve only done five.

      yes but my blog’s been there for two years and yours has only been here for two months, give a woman some time please…

      also, to steal a theme from today’s Chatartiste – it’s not just about quantity.

      [i wrote that MOST popular of irish lit – a touching eulogy – for my friend who died. you ignored it with dutiful irish dysympathy. i dont expect you to read my movie reviews because you guys dont have ‘movin’ pitchers’ over there yet.]

      • I am not sure my comment justified a ‘crikey’, tits is tits and noodz is noodz after all and there are only so many shapes and sizes, particularly with the internet.

        It was different back in yon olden days when a man might only see one or two naked women in his entire life (if he were lucky – before the flexible work day and (low-level) electric lighting, most coitus took place in the dark, for obvious reasons).

        In those days, noodz were really worth something – now you get them free on t’internet.

    • He loves Tits – but would like to qualify that statement. A complex sorta fellah.

  10. wait sadadeleous doesn’t even have a blog wtf how could you post

    [ed note: she has a mowst tasteful blog of refinement. like m4, she’s been known to delete it in fits of decency from posting too many NOODZ of herself]

  11. oh dam let in on the real blog instead of sent to delete.
    I see the orbiters still posting steadily.

  12. lol i met her in to, she’s really nice, but kind of empty. i mean WHAT GIRL has a page that takes 2 hours to load up cause of all the PICS OF HER lol. I mean what girl can’t make her own grillcheese and spends $6 not includng tip?? its all just food stuff and look at me stuff. she’s harmless you meany hahahah

    [you post huge pictures. i agree on her LOAD times – memememe me me!. my 13 year old sister can make grilled cheese – Asiago grill cheese. AND SHE also knows what imported Provolone is. raymis sounds turribly HIGH maintenance IRL. ..from the looks of that pic – I now shall call her “Graymi” lozzlol]

  13. LOL I all the time emailed this website post page to all my TO friends, Raymi is hot, but she is stuck up in person!

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